To those I'm (hopefully) leaving behind:

I mean no avarice in saying hopefully in the title; it is a simple case of choosing to better my health, self image and outward image.

But to those who suffer from long term weight problems, there's community in it.
It's a majority minority of enabling action, bringing another further into the problem to appease your guilt for having it. I know, I did it and it was done to me.

The last time I was a correct weight was over 15 years ago. Long time.
Long enough to forget what life was like without physical and permanently attached baggage. It's folly to say that life perception doesn't shape around being fat.

Introversion, defensiveness, self-worth issues, and even perception of the male female dynamic, even the FRIEND dynamic. You are put in a different place, just like the kid with the headgear or the girl with the hairy legs.

But it's almost worse than that, because at a certain point the disgust becomes subtle. Just an aura around you that takes away things that other people are granted. Saps your energy, you exhaust easily, you sweat more, you get blamed for odor, people offer you food, even INNOCENTLY, you can't help but question an ulterior motive.

Thighs scrape together and chafe, heartburn and indigestion occur more frequently, and yes, we do this to ourselves of course, but I'm pointing out that it does change life's developmental patterns.

I know much of my behavior came from it, and I'm not blaming it, it's my fault, but it came from it nonetheless. I don't look people in the eye because I always assumed they were looking away anyhow. Dating was always difficult, it's hard to overcome certain pounded in beliefs.

Our world is a stream of fitness warnings and extreme kayaking and bro fist mountain climbing, but don't let it embody health for you! Make it about health, make it for yourself and climb out, I promise the hole isn't so deep.

So to those I'm hopefully leaving behind, I don't want to be a part of that anymore. I don't want you to be a part of that anymore. It's a prison in yourself, and not in the Kashi "go lean" bro fist way, but in the expanding your mental horizons way. Don't let a habit restrict your enjoyment, activities and LIFESPAN.

escape.